Day 11. Journey to Freedom.

Rough day.
Hardest yet.
Spent hours (and I wish I was joking) in the kitchen.
And then sat down at lunch and promptly burst into tears.
And pretty much cried through the whole meal.
So discouraged.
Jack - bless his heart - tried his best to cheer up his gal,
to no avail.
He's a very funny guy.
Today he wasn't funny.
That tells you how low I was.

This was the first time since Day 1 where I felt like this isn't sustainable.
When you work THAT hard on a meal, you just want it to taste good.
Anyone with me?

So I made Creamy Chestnut soup.
DISGUSTING.
Jack graciously ate his whole bowl full.
He's good like that.
I took two bites.
Done.


 The curry chicken lettuce wrap actually did have a nice flavor to it,
with apples and chicken and carrots and bean sprouts and such.
But I was just a mess at that point so I could only choke down a bit.
I just wanted EASY and GREASY and SUGARY 
and YUMMY.
And our meal was none of the above.

I suppose I knew this day would come.
You know, the day when you just want to say
"Screw it! I'm not doing this any more!" 
  But I'm not giving up.
And I didn't cheat today, despite my desire to.
And I didn't quit.
Just discouraged is all.

So we do this thing, one day at a time.
Which I suppose is how we should do life anyway, right?
I'm going under the assumption that tomorrow is going 
to be a fabulous lunch meal.
I can FEEL it.

Part of the problem as I sat down to lunch was this:
I knew what lurked int he kitchen.
A DISASTER!
See?







So as I sat down and ate, I knew that I had to walk back into the kitchen
and face that mess. Which would easily be another hour of cleanup.
( Which it was, in case you were wondering.)

So it was just one of those days.
I know we all have them.
And even tonight, as I sit down to write, I feel like I'm in a better place.
Tomorrow is a new day, with new meals to try.
 May all of life's problems be this small, eh?

It's all good.
I do think this is sustainable.
I mean, not the detox thing forever,
but clean, healthy, fresh, lots of raw, eating.
That's do-able.

And the more I cook this way, the easier it will get.
At least I keep telling myself that.
And until today, I did feel like it was getting easier.
But today's recipes were labor intensive.

Oh, and then the big daddy vita mix lid wasn't quite on,
so when I went to puree the boiling hot soup.
Ya. 
You guessed it.
Burned my hand AND dark grey soup slime all over the place.
ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE. 
This picture shows only a small fraction of the mess.


But I told you I'd tell the good, bad, and ugly on here so you'd know what to expect,
should you try to do this Clean thing.
I keep hearing from people that they're reading the book and thinking about trying it.
I'm SUPER excited about that.
It's worth the effort to clean up our food.
Whether this program or another!
I'm ABSOLUTELY convinced that what we put in our bodies
REALLY DOES MATTER.
And I used to not think that. 
Or, rather, I knew it,
but denied that I knew that was the case because I wasn't ready to give up junk. 

If you promise not to tell anyone, 
I'll let you in on a little secret.
I would say MOST of my lethargy and weariness is gone.
After 10 days.
And after about 3 days I told Jack that little secret,
so it has been gone from early on.

I'm VERY curious about that.
And I'm hoping I'm not just making that up in my head,
but I really do feel better. 
I don't feel the need to nap every day.
My energy level is higher.
Jack and my friend Melissa both said my skin glowed.
Separately and not to the knowledge of the other.
I had to chuckle about that.

I'll keep you posted.
Here's hoping this thing is working!

Would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow's lunch.
After yesterday and today, I'm feeling the need for a decent, 
tasty meal.

 And here's to all of us not giving up on whatever paths we're on to healthy living.
Hoping your personal journey is full of victory tomorrow!

Comments

Kacie said…
Oh man. I have days like this as I try to parent two and exclusively pump for the little one and potty train. Too many body fluids and little people in a small space.
But then there are days when the kiddos are wonderful and I'm SO thankful for this life.

So funny how one day can make a difference. Praying tomorrow is one of those awesome days for you. :)
alice said…
OK, chestnut soup does not sound good in any universe. They're those things squirrels eat, right? Grody. On to better things!!!

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