Hard Day

(This post is rather 'stream-of-conscious' so excuse the poor writing - simply writing from the heart tonight!)

Today. It qualifies as a hard day. Not because of anything specific but simply going on little sleep (I think we went to bed around midnight - way past our bedtime with little ones - and Jackson had me up at 6:45am).

For me, I'm coming to realize that the 'drama' that Maddie creates is rather frustrating (understatement of century). This morning, in a rush to get out the door to school, I picked out her socks for her. Ya, that seemed to be a big mistake. I excelled at this task for the first 5 and a half years of her life but somehow, NOW is the time she feels I'm not capable of said task!

Now that she knows how to tie her own shoes, she feels compelled to ALWAYS tie them ("I CAN DO IT MYSELF, MOMMY!"), even in a hurry, which, hurry and a new shoe-tie-er just don't fit together. I finally convinced her that I could do one of her shoes for her - so she compromised, all the while complaining about her socks. I should have just gone back inside, grabbed long socks as opposed to the short socks, and been done with it. But no, I was proving some sort of point (what I don't know), that we can't be flexible when we're late for school, so off we went. The entire way to school - all 3 minutes - she whined (and have I ever mentioned that I HATE whining) about her socks not feeling right. We finally got to school and she was in tears by the time we walked up to the line where she stands with her friends, waiting for the bell to ring. She wanted to take the socks off but thought her friends would laugh at her. I convinced her that they wouldn't laugh and I took the shoes off AGAIN and adjusted the socks AGAIN and she then went on her merry little way into school, as if everything was hunky dory. Meanwhile my blood pressure had skyrocketed and I wanted to simply crawl back in bed!

Fast forward to after school (late morning). On the way home from church she was at Mach 2 in speech and hyper-ness so the drama was in full force. She was irritating Jackson, getting him to say words like, "You're a TOOTIE head!" and the like ... of course, that sent them both into a fit of giggles (which I do love to hear). After repeatedly asking her to stop teaching him inappropriate words, she says okay. Just about this time Jackson decides to squawk so the confusion continues.

We arrive home and all of a sudden Maddie turns into the sweet Maddie that we know and love and is sitting on the couch with Jackson, teaching him words; appropriate words at that. She has him look at a picture and say what it is. It's actually a very adorable thing to see and overhear. She gets a wee bit frustrated when he grabs his duck and starts to suck his thumb and I overheard her saying, "Focus, Jackson. Focus!" Hmmmm, I wonder where that comes from.

Out of the blue, Jackson drops his raisins and begins a dramatic explosion so settling him down takes some time. I think I burned one quesidilla (sp?) that was on the stove. Around this time I jammed my fingernail on a cupboard door (ya, that hurt BIG TIME).

Hmmmm - what else happened today? I don't know, just more of the drama stuff - Maddie irritating Jackson. Jackson pushing Maddie. Maddie spilling water because I'm trying to separate the two of them on the stool before one of them falls off. I accidentally, in the process of separating them, scratch Maddie with my long nail, which throws her into a huge fit of despair. Like, you would have thought a limb was cut off - the whimpering and whining just wouldn't stop. I'm trying to get supper cooking and baking done for a MOPS meeting. A Jewel-Osco run is needed because I don't have one of the key ingredients to make my "Canadian" squares for tomorrow. With the promise of a cookie from the grocery store (they give them out free at Jewel - and I am singing the doxology about that!), we get in the car, BUT, Jackson thinks the cookie is coming immediately and doesn't realize that Jewel-Osco isn't in our garage, so he fusses YET AGAIN.

At one point in the day I was on a very important phone call with a friend that is going through a very major crisis right now, and I hear piano playing, knowing full well that it ain't Jack, and it ain't me, so that leaves only two other options, both of which are forbidden from touching our most expensive piece of 'furniture'. For a brief moment, I chose to laugh and grabbed the camera.
Oh, and then further on in the afternoon I called my mom asking for help with her "Nanaimo Bar" recipe - I couldn't understand the instructions I had written down years ago - and had to call twice because of interruptions from the kids. Who trains these kids to know IMMEDIATELY when their mommy picks up the phone? If you talk to ANY mother of little ones they will say the same thing. The kids could be completely silent, completely behaving so you think you can make a quick call but BAMMM, the instant they hear the buttons dialing they are racing toward you desperately needing your attention! Like, I think there's a lion loose in our basement kind of desperate!

It's days like these where I think, "Can I just go back to bed and forget this day ever happened?" I was a lousy mommy and I simply had a bad attitude - all day long. Fortunately, the Lord's mercies are new EVERY morning and tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow has the hope of the Lord's help. That, my frends, is of great comfort to me, a worn out Mommy just asking for His grace to walk down this journey called motherhood.

Tonight, in the process of trying to find the verse about His mercies being new every morning, I happened upon it as well as some other great ones - they're below. Hope they're an encouragement to you as you anticipate tomorrow morning.

Lamentations 3:22-26 - "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies) never fail. They are new every morning; great is YOUR faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; herefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who weeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Psalm 59:16 - But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning, For You have been my strongholdAnd a refuge in the day of my distress.

Psalm 88:13 - But I, O LORD, have cried out to You for help, And in the morning my prayer comes before You.

Psalm 90:14 - O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness, That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Psalm 143:8 - Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk;For to You I lift up my soul.


Connie said…
Oh..I so have those days. Keep looking to Jesus! You are a great Mom...
Alice said…
I hope it's OK that I laughed through most of this post. You could just replace "Maddie" and "Jackson" with "Lucy" and "Elaine" and replay that whole day at our house at any given time (I think my favorite part is "Jewel-Osco" is not in our garage"!!!)

It's funny--I've been thinking of that same verse from Lamentations lately and also the corresponding hymn especially the words, "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow"! Amen, huh?
Alice said…
Oh, and I forgot to add "Focus, Jackson, Focus!" had me rolling... :-)

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